my ex girlfriend shows no emotion after break up

It's better to have a brok. That comes with emotions attached, and those are never easy to control. With my last ex, I tried to force myself to feel cheerful when she reached out and even reached out a few times myself. Ill also send over your free report which explains the5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.). It's pretty awesome. I have tried talking to her in the past about us doing things that would bring us together at a more romantic level, but she usually wants to just sleep. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. And that sense of reactance can be a really big problem that you have to kind of navigate around because if you trigger that reactance too much, theyre going to pull away and distance themselves from you. How Do You Make An Avoidant Ex Feeling Not Pressured? Is your ex-girlfriend mean to you forno particular reason? Sometimes you'll notice that a guy can be very cold and distant after break up. With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences. One of the things that a lot of women dont realize is that it is very important for a man to feel like he is staying true to his word and standing his ground. 1. There is a real risk of an avoidant completely detaching during no contact; and once they completely detach, its really hard to get them back. CANADA. No Response Can Still Be A Response To Your Ex How she views her past experiences can depend on her attachment style. This is when he becomes susceptible to nostalgia, and his positive memories of you will begin to outweigh the negative ones. TBh, I dont know if I even want her back now. It conflicts with their goal of maintaining independence and; To keep their attachment system deactivated. Even more specific, imagine you were the dumper. Whenever we talk it seems as if what I say doesn't affect her in any way. July 9, 2023, 3:48 pm, by Your email address will not be published. The private Facebook support group includes all of our clients and program purchasers. Then you get back in touch with them and begin the process of reconciliation. And breakups will always be heartbreaking. Find out the 7 sneaky blocks keeping you from manifesting an amazing, happy, connected relationship and exactly what you can do about them, starting immediately. That means that if he chose to break up with you, his pride is going to make him want to stick with that decision (at least for the time being.). Breakups happen just because of that reason. Every one gets angry sometimes; and every attachment style gets angry. So as of now, if you are wondering what guys think after a breakup, the answer is that he feels that its all over, but that doesnt mean that you cant change things! Sometimes youll notice that a guy can be very cold and distant after break up. My Ex is showing no emotion. Is this normal behavior? : askgaybros - Reddit Shed move on. Its not going to unfold the way I want it to. These studies give you deep insight into why ignoring an avoidant ex could potentially ruin any chance of a relationship. I'm sure you do too. One of our most popular strategies after a breakup is the no-contact rule. Your email address will not be published. Sending mixed messages and being intentionally ambiguous, Acting nice and warm but actually being cynical or intending to criticize, Sharing something on social media that seems innocent but is actually aimed at you, Pulling away and/or distancing themselves. The stronger the emotion, the stronger the feeling. Youve been suffering quite a bit especially because you miss him so much. What better way to do that than to be mean and cause you to see what you turned her into? It is so hard to find peace after breakup, especially when you have no idea what your ex feels about all of this. The Biggest Emotional Threat To Your Relationship And How To Conquer It, 7 Unexpected Emotional Reactions You Might Have To Your Breakup. Dismissive avoidants in general are better at adjusting to an ex going no contact after the break-up. Hes also gone back to one word texts ok, huh, cool. She Still Cares About You I wanted to apologize for the things I did wrong in the relationship and how I handled the breakup. Pay close attention to the research on how an avoidant reacts to perceived threats; and to someone they think did them wrong. Reactance is that feeling that somebody else has an ulterior motive and they are sort of railroading you into that ulterior motive. Guilt. NC with FA for 60 days then reached out but let him take the majority of the initiative. Click here to find out if you can save your relationship, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T. Quiz: Do You Still Have a Chance With Your Ex? Typically, its probably more of a sign that your ex has just been frustrated with some aspect of your relationship and theyre lashing out at you after that breakup is over or basically just using you as an easy punching bag. After the break up, I've only known him to almost cry once in front of me and then once he texted me he was crying because of kind gesture I did for him that he thought was sweet. doesnt necessarily mean theyre over you, What Youre Saying When You Give Someone the Silent Treatment, your ex to feel hurt when they miss your presence, the no contact rule is actually a productive time when youre working, need to break the no-contact rule at the right time. Thousands of people have used his exact strategies to get back together and make their relationships even better than before the breakup. If shes jealous, shes jealous. Inside his comprehensive Ex Solution Course, he will show you everything you need to know to have a deeper and more profound connection with your ex, so that you both can have a second shot at lasting love (even if your situation feels hopeless). This can be because of tensions that still exist between you, but it could also be because he's trying to and ensure that you don't get the wrong idea. So he chose to end the relationship between you. I feel like shes being distant to me today because she's prob sick of me. The inability to trust you and feeling that they may be better off alone will create the push-pull dynamic. /whats-on/article/the-finale-of-the-girlfriend-experience-is-basically-one-long-heartless-sex-scene/ps9xporaw This could even include issues that she had with you even before the breakup process. The percentage of dismissives who respond after no contact is very minimal. The no contact rule, in and of itself, is effectively the silent treatment so it can obviously have the negative side effects we just talked about. This can be because of tensions that still exist between you, but it could also be because hes trying to and ensure that you dont get the wrong idea. They feel that if you can abandon them and treat them like they dont matter; maybe they really dont matter. I think weve all had something like that happen before. Theyre taking the risk to reach out not because they want you back but so you can stop making them feel rejected and abandoned. Required fields are marked *. If your ex reaches out to you, you will definitely want to respond to him, and if you reach out, you'll undoubtedly want him to respond back too. Youd think that an avoidant wouldnt get angry when you ignore them. While this article explores the main reasons your ex-girlfriend is so mean to you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation. You cant dismiss the possibility that your ex might be trying to get over you or theyre already over you but you also cant dismiss the possibility that theyre still hung up on you. Answer (1 of 3): I'm so sorry that you and your girlfriend are no longer together. This is when the seed of doubt regarding his decision to leave is planted, and if you play your cards right, this presents a window of opportunity to get him back. Your ex probably does still feel a lot of attraction towards you which is why they are sort of doing this, Hey, I got to like keep tabs on this person kind of thing. He reveals the texts you can send and things you can say to her right now to make her think, yep, I made a big mistake!. The general consensus is that anger hyperactivates attachment anxiety. If Your Ex Wont Respond To You Try Texting Them Like This, How To Respond Your Ex So They Actually WANT To Talk To You, 5 Things Your Ex NEEDS To Know Before They Will Get Back Together. So lets a look at how guys act after a breakup. I'm not a big partier, but I go on vacation once every 5 years and wanted to enjoy myself. For better or worse, a lot of peoples exes feel this sense of reactance from their ex-partner if their ex-partner wants to get back together with them. My ex 2023 ASK THE LOVE DOCTOR [YANGKI AKITENG]. So today were going to talk about what your exs silence after a breakup actually means. They will keep you at arms length. If your ex is acting really cruel towards you even, typically, thats not a sign that they are necessarily an evil person although Im sure there are some people out there who are just evil. However, here comes a dilemma: if silence is so harmful, why do we recommend the no contact rule? The more you focus on what hes feeling, what hes thinking, and what he wants, the more you will lose yourself. When you first reach out after no contact, fearful avoidants leaning anxious are curious as to why you are reaching out and what you want. 1. The second emotion that drives your exs behavior is frustration. You could have shared such great memories that make you still consider her as your girlfriend even when she is now your ex. Even if youre single or its complicated.. Formulate a plan of attack to get her back. She has put on a decent amount of weight since we started dating and doesn't care for herself. In fact, no response is still a response and a pretty powerful one of that. It's the dumper's version of what you felt after they broke up with you. 7 Signs That You'd Be Better Off Ending a Relationship She hasnt accepted the breakup because if she has, she wouldnt keep poking at the wound and stay angry with you. Theyre too proud to contact you because they want to win the breakup but at some point, theyll stop caring about that. If you were trying to get back together with your ex and you made efforts to communicate with them and patch things up with them, chances are that they are aware of this. This Man flew me to his country only to Gaslight me!? TORONTO. But usually, both partners who breakup, feel a lot of emotions but choose to hide it. Some dismissive avoidants feel hurt and sad and may want to stay in contact after the break-up, but when you go no contact and ignore them, itll bother them but its only for a very short time. Research on attachment and expression of anger has found that people with a preoccupied attachment style and fearful avoidant attachment style report feeling more anger when ignored. Learn how your comment data is processed. These are the things that are actually going to matter if you want to bounce back and get back together with your ex. The two of you made the decision to break up and now she feels like that decision needs to be signed and sealed. The article focuses on people who use the silent treatment as a revenge ploy to hurt others. 1. Ltd. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. Lateness. The timing of WHEN you reach out is key here which is why we recommend standard periods of no contact. This may sound bizarre, but often when your ex is acting like an asshole to you or being cold and distant, it means they still care about you or have feelings for you. Self-aware DA here. Is My Exes New Girlfriend His Forever Person? If youre reading this and have been confused and puzzled as to why your avoidant ex reacts with anger or is cold when you reach out; now you know why. A lot of times people who are using the silent treatment on you (your ex) want you to reach out to them so they can feel good or feel like theyve still got a hold on you. Im a fearful avoidant with dismissive lean. Whenever we talk it seems as if what I say doesn't affect her in any way. I went with her family and I get along with all of them. You get a knock at your door late at night, and it's your ex with some lousy excuse for why they needed to come over. Research on attachment styles is showing that outward expression of anger could in fact be an avoidant attachment way of maintaining distance. When you go no contact, a dismissive avoidant ex suppresses all their thoughts and feelings of you. It totally killed the vibe of what vacation is about. My girlfriend does not show emotions. I don't know how she - Quora Cookie Notice He really warmed back up to talk to me every day, ask me how I am doing etc. 11. The fourth emotion that drives your exs behavior Im going to have to explain a little bit, but its called reactance. The Alone Time Stage The Reassurance Stage The Reliance On Friends Or Family Stage The Blame Stage The Rebound Stage The Void Stage How Do You Let Go Of An Ex You Still Love? As human beings, we have this constant need to respond to others. I wanted to enjoy everything the boat had to offer, get drunk, party, dance and have a good time. 8. 10 Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back - YourTango This is valuable information as most people find that when they reach out after 30-days of no contact; their avoidant ex seems angry, aloof, cold and even hostile. Ive got to be in competition. Maybe theyve been right all along; relationships are overrated. This is pretty natural. If you want to get back together, then you need to do something about it. Shes lost my trust. Cookie Notice The anterior cingulate cortex area of the brain the area thought to interpret emotion and pain was active in both instances. Every so often a fearful avoidant ex will remind themselves that you ignored or were indifferent to them and made them feel unwanted, unworthy and unloved. How your ex feels about you doing no contact affects not only your chances of getting back together; it also affects the new relationship if you end up getting back together. Theyre a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge. All Rights Reserved. All rights reserved. 2 weeks is enough time for some people, and as a dismissive avoidant, your ability to compartmentalize and bounce back faster is unmatched. That basically blocks that attraction from doing what it normally does in bringing two people together. They ignore you all the time, right? Nobody wants to be the last one picked in gym class, no one wants to be refused when they propose, and no one wants to feel alienated and alone. Roselle Umlas The cruise was amazing and I had a really good time. Ive talked about reactance before on our email newsletter, on our website, and all that stuff. What is your excuse? Stage 4: Fear of Loss. If a fearful avoidant ex leans anxious, theyll feel abandoned when you ignore them and will most likely reach out. I will also email you customized tips and advice to help you make real progress in getting back together. COMMENTS: I encourage comments from avoidants on how you react to an ex when they reach out to you after no contact. One reason why your ex-girlfriend is mean to you is that she's trying to validate the breakup. Such men never show their emotions even during their relationship. So, the first key to making amends is that you need to break the no-contact rule at the right time. Our mutual friends say that he's keeping busy and they haven't been seeing him too often. This especially true if your emotions being needy, clingy, arguments, conflict, drama, jealousy etc., were the reason for the break-up. Whether this is in a romantic sense, an angry one, a desperate one, a longing one she could be feeling all sorts of things that she wont tell you about, and feeling all of these things at the same time can be frustrating for her. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. . Well sometimes thats the case but most of the time its not. Does your ex? The main reason for this is really that sense of frustration. As a team of dedicated love and relationship coaches, it is our goal to provide you with everything you need in order to help you reach your goal. Dismissive avoidants react with suppressing anger for two reasons: The suppression of anger over time causes a build-up of anger that can potentially result in an outburst; and even violent behaviour. How Long Until Your Ex Misses You Without Contact? You see, it all depends on the intent of WHY your ex is ignoring you. So theres a very strong revenge element to silence after a breakup, especially because your ex can simply get away with it. Privacy Policy. Once you get there, take the short quiz which will help me send you advice for dealing with your situation. He has let you go but still wants you to be back in his life. Jeanette Brown If we cant agree on any of those things, I move on. Its frustration plus a feeling of insecurity. 1) She wants to validate the breakup. 5 Surprising Emotions Behind Your Exe's Confusing (And Hurtful) Behavior Throughout our relationship especially after the first 2 to 3 weeks she has had little to no emotion when it comes to me. Should I Keep Letting Go To Get Her Back? I could see why she wants some time to herself, but I feel like I'm being punished for something because she isn't talking to me much today. In other words, an ex who is not in love with you anymore is just going to ignore you and cut you out of their life completely. Scan this QR code to download the app now. So if shes mean to you, it could be the jealousy leaking into her behavior even if she maybe doesnt want it to. And in my experience, this hasnt really been the truth. As one of the few coaches who discourages using no contact as a strategy for attracting back an ex, let alone an avoidant, I dont think anyone should feel bad if they need more time and distance as long as they know that the time and distance is about them and what them need at the time. You dont want to be an asshole so you say, Sure. I reached out to my FA ex 8 months after the breakup. Throughout our relationship especially after the first 2 to 3 weeks she has had little to no emotion when it comes to me. For more information, please see our Im way better look at me, I got this new rebound girlfriend and all that stuff.. Archived post. 21 Signs That Your Ex Still Loves You and Wants You Back If youre dating again, she might be mean to you because shes jealous and wants you back. The first thing I want to bring your attention into after a breakup is that when a guy decides to pull the plug, it is the actual end of the break up in his mind. by 2. Now I can move on with no regrets. Girlfriend (21) of 2 years shows no emotion or desire for the relationship ( me 27) Close. So Are You REALLY Ready To Start Dating After Your Breakup? It might also not make sense because why would she be mean to get you back? TEXT/WHATSAPP+1416 606 6989, ATTRACT BACK A FEARFUL AVOIDANT, ANXIOUS, DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT EX. 2023 Elite Communication Coaching, LLC. Required fields are marked *. But for some reason, I can. It is important to understand what hes feeling right now because it will help you to determine the right approach. Theres not much she can do about it. I feel myself disconnecting and it takes me a long time to get over feeling abandoned. Ive got a minute to help starving children, because you dont have to be an asshole and say you didnt want to help starving children in African. 14 Unpleasant Reasons Why Your Ex Girlfriend Won't Talk To You Of course, this isnt to say that its alright for her to be mean to you; like all the reasons here, theyre only explanations and not excuses. Reason #1: They Still Have Feelings For You. Each person is going to experience a break up in their own way. Imagine youre fresh from a breakup and youre about to tell your friends and family. The period after breaking up is confusing and conflicting and so many different emotions wrapped into one unpleasant package but theres something you dont understand: why, of all things, is she still being mean? In addition to this, a guy will also be careful about not giving you false hope. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. I mostly spent time partying with her sister because my girlfriend was being really boring. 11. If youre a man, it can be hard for a woman to communicate with you because she feels like youll be less opento talking about your emotions. Love is complex. Well if you don't plan on breaking up with her, then do talk to her. Has she had a similar bad experience with an ex before this? With our articles, YouTube channel, Master classes, and one-on-one coaching, we are here to help you every step of the way. Guys don't do that in fact, one recent study has even proven that men suffer more after a breakup than we do. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Question: Yangki, I have read your articles with great interest. Youll act the way you think he wants to you to act, but the process of getting an ex back requires you to focus on personal development and getting back in touch with who you really are. When EX Shows NO Emotion and doesn't seem to care! So much of this is just them trying to patch up insecurity. Tina Fey All rights reserved. Our no contact time frames (30-45 days) are designed to allow for initial post-breakup emotions to calm down so you and your ex can start having a real conversation. She could have the tendency to want partners that give her undivided attention and if she suddenly doesnt have that with you, it could leave her with a tornado of negative emotions turning you into collateral damage. Not wanting to lose the breakup is usually the most common reason for an exs silence after a breakup, but it goes even deeper than that. All of her bad memories from your time together are tied to you, so she might be acting up whenever she sees you because she doesnt want to be reminded of what happened between you two. 15 Signs Your Ex Still Has Feelings For You - MomJunction What your ex is doing after the break up doesnt matter as much as what YOU are doing after the break up. Contrast that with keeping things 'in yur face' with no relaxation, no change in circumstances, no incentive to 'want' the very same things in life to continue aligning the same way ex didn't want them X days ago. Remember anxious-preoccupied worry that a relationship partner is/will be unavailable and unresponsive to their need for closeness. Here are the 3 things to do after a break up: If you want some help with number 3 (the plan), then you need to watch relationship expert Brad Brownings excellent free video right now. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and Ive spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. You need to have something interesting to say preferably about a topic that your ex is passionate about. You get a lot of calls from an unknown number. You just ended a relationship with each other, and depending on the relationship, that could be a big change for both of you. 40 OMG Signs Youre A Classic Dismissive Avoidant. You also need to remember that your ex is going through a roller coaster of emotions throughout no contact. Anxious-preoccupied people often feel emotional hunger, looking for a partner who can complete them. My ex broke up with me & showed no emotion at all?! She showed no emotion or desire to do things together on the trip except for spending the day at the beach together. Loneliness is painful, although it has it's benefits. In his latest free video, hell show you exactly what you can do to make your ex girlfriend want to be with you again. If only you could see into his mind and figure out what hes thinking. She might think that youre whats holding her back from the rest of her life. You don't feel understood. Theyll always be thinking of the time when there was no contact and they could be themselves, do whatever they wanted; and ignore you back without any guilt. It takes a very long time for these feelings to come back, if they come back at all. The issue is, I didn't have as much fun with her as I did other people on the boat. If a fearful avoidant ex leans avoidant, theyre going to react to no contact more like a dismissive avoidant ex. The theme of revenge is even evident in some people who use the no-contact rule. You can wait around and expect her to come running back. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Contact Us, Breakup coach explains how to get back together. Getting the silent treatment from your ex after a breakup sucks, especially when you dont know what it means and why theyre doing it. I think it was a great idea that we decided to start dating other people. 3. If you wanted see which one of you was more attractive and desirable, if they really didnt think that you are an attractive person then why would they even care? For more information, please see our The thoughts are enough to keep you up all night. Your ex can have several other reasons for ignoring you as well. If you think she might be bitter about the break-up, then youll be able to tell through the signs presented in this video: There may be something in her past(before you) that explains why shes being mean to you or something to do with her attachment style. This somehow gave me hope that we might be able to work things out. I'm going to give her space, but I am starting to feel like the cruise was the last hoorah, and shortly things will fizzle out.
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