my wife cheated on me islam islamqa

The following is based on a hadith from Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 56, Number 676. After a engagement of 2 years I got married to her and her travel visa for UK was ready too and she came to UK and we got married. If you want more detailed advice then please log in and write your question as a separate post and we'll put it in the queue Insha'Allah. New house , new beginnings a hugh deposit lol all is happy as can be . The best of us, that we make repentance, good deeds, tell the people the truth and ask the forgiveness. As far as I'm concerned, there is no marriage anymore between them, from the moment she committed that horrible act. In order to unilaterally enact a divorce, you would have to agree with your husband to go to a Muslim arbitrator. Quite a few times actually, just because a Muslim woman is "practicing and pious" doesn't mean she's immune to sins. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful (Quran, 49:12). Quite frankly, for the past two years you've been sitting on the treasure that Allah (swt) put there for you: permission to take another wife or at least to start looking for one. when they have committed Fahishah (illegal sexual intercourse etc.) I met my boss and asked him and he wanted to fire me for accusing him. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. So please stop before its too late! i had to use these hard words to get sence in to you . Instead of feeling sorry for your self thank ALLAH that she has nothing to do with your daughter upbringing . My respect to you all. I just read your post, it has been two years from your first post, has she been cheating on you this time? You should make an escape (hicri) from that place. "Then I may as well kill you, too," said the other. Walaahi it makes me sad to see a lot of Muslim brothers suffering through this. That penitent servant was handed over to the angels of merry. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Salam Can a anaf Resident Pray Behind a Shfie Traveller? )or cheated on one time and rependet. Wow she should be pleased that u forgave her but what about allah isn't she scared of the day she will meet him ya allah, When wife cheats she should be divorced and when husband cheats repeatedly he should go for second wife wowww. Can a wife refuse her husbands request for intercourse so that she could pray? 2. Not what, but who? This is really difficult, but necessary. Is she generally a good and decent person but struggling with thing you CAN both change to stop it from happening again? OR does she still have some good qualities that I care ? I told no one except bro and sis and asked them to keep with them. That cheating wife deserves punishment now and in the hereafter. We advise you to turn to Allah with Dua and also make Istikhara. Well inspite u working hard and providing a good life and security to your family(which a man supposed to do , its his duty ) As for what will happen on the Day of Judgement, there will be times when humans will have to give away their good deeds or take bad deeds as this will be the currency at that time. 5-Some of them may wear a garment until it loses its value, then they shorten it and put some starch in it, to make people think that it is new, and they sell it as if it is new. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. 2-Some fathers and guardians of women show the suitor the daughter who is beautiful, then on the wedding night he finds out that he has been given a different daughter who is ugly, but he has no choice but to accept the situation. Should I observe Hijab from my fathers two wives? This is a kind of cheating and wrongdoing against the wife. Finally, I divorced her for the sake of my imaan. But right on, go forward and cheat on spouses and then repend. I was very sorry for her. It would have hurt probably less if someone had cut my arms and legs then being cheated. I still feel horrible of letting him touch me before marriage I was so pure and he used me. I think in order to solve this problem for the sake of the children , ur peace of mind and respect this should be dealt with objectively.i would suggest tht u talk to ur wife when u feel tht she can communicate in an effective way and ask her what is bothering her ..there maybe many small issues combined to become a big one or may be something small but difficult for her to handle ..maybe u both can help each other out. i need some advice from all of you as i am very confused with life and myself. I will be awaiting your advice as soon as possible. It is a completely selfish and evil act. It has not been posted yet. I encourage you to perform The Prayer of Guidance as often as you need to, in order for you to gain clarity from Allah. Brother, Have you spoken to her about her affairs ? My question to all cheaters that cheat all you want but do not after you have kids cos you have no rights to ruin other life..you can do whatever to you life but not innocent childrens.. What a tragic outpouring of your heart, brother. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Any feedback and prayer for my peace would be appreciated by me and Allah. It is something for Allah swt to judge. you yourself is a pacient man mashlah. In hereafter everybody will get what he deserves. So keep pushing yourself because you believe in Allah (swt) and yourself. now ALLAH knows wot is best in my interest that i couldn't even figure out what happen and what not. Please advise me I don't know what to do. The first sentence she said is very misleading. Answer Praise be to Allah. I was thinking about divorcing her, but she is from India, and I do not want my kids to grow up abroad and in conditions that are less comfortable than my place, so I want to give her one more chance. Especially if the next one has children. MAY ALLAH FILL YOUR HEART WITH SO MUCH COURAGE THAT YOU CAN TAKE RIGHT DECISION. http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=138, (There is no compulsion in religion), meaning, "Do not force anyone to become Muslim, for Islam is plain and clear, and its proofs and evidence are plain and clear. Sister you have been cheated too and felt bad. I would like to make contact and realise it may not be permitted to disclose personal details here. However, you could be making some good points if you could take some years to study Islam very well, and then come back for good debates in the future. If she repented to Allah and adhered to righteousness, it is better to retain your marriage; please, refer to fatwa 191839. adivce her and tell her to fear allah and chnge her herself. The wording of the version narrated by al-Nawawi, he is not one of us, is sufficient warning against cheating and sufficient deterrent against indulging in this heinous sin. That is how I am and not much I can do. I left it up in case you need to copy it, but I'll delete it shortly. I just can not get over the fact that she had loved another man, may be it is my ego..may be I felt insulted..whatver that is I just can not accept it. I will be happy to hand her over to that men but he is married with kids and I am sure he will not take her.. ALLAH may help me, Sad to hear your story. Plz give your opinion. I need you urgent help, because I have a serious problem, which concerns my wife and her Umrah. Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of Remember: Al Quran 1:4 No!". This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. 5-It causes one to be deprived of barakah (blessing) in one's wealth and one's life. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. And I have been in tough situations myself and I just want to give you this sincere advice. The fourth is recommended; it is when the wife neglects the rights of Allah over her, such as the prayer and the other acts of worship, and her husband is unable to force her to observe them, or if she is an unchaste woman [Al-Mughni]. I am sorryhumans can't be used like paper, we need to take care of them. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. So Sister, do you really think, that if I should kill you, that in the other world, you as my enemy will forgive me? These are some of the ways in which that cheating is manifested: 1-Some fruit-sellers put a lot of leaves or papers in the bottom of the basket of fruit, then they put the best fruit at the top. my heart goes out to you. It will be hard to find a woman with a man at a place without getting stopped and questioned by the police, especially in mekkah and Medinah (as it is very easy for the police to guess that the man and the woman are strangers to each other). If I don't divorce her would I be sinning (in light of surah Noor, only a Zani marries a Zani) If I do divorce her and the baby gets affected, (being brought up say by a single parent) will it be sinful for me. They measured the ground. She can't afford that house. In this discussion for over a month now different proofs have been given. Bill de Blasio wondered if marrying a self-identified lesbian meant there was a 'time bomb ticking' in his marriage. (Qur'an 25:70). My wife cheated on metwice | IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3237) and Muslim (1436). I fgot upset and moved on with my merriage thinking she is young and stuff. just taking time ( years ) to make final decision..may be never will make one before I die..Allah knows best. Does he deserves to cheated or lied on? I think my wife is having an affair. Allah even warns us about being suspicious of others. Kzm bu hadiseden sonra tvbe etti. I confronted her and she told me, that it was the messages of the past owner of the Blackberry. Lord and submit to Him, (in Islam), before the torment comes upon you, then We may ponder the story of our father Adam (peace be upon I'm planning to leave her and Allah will guide me Be strong and don't be afraid ok I know myself and I know my sex drives. In other words in times of uncertainty or foolishness people can make mistakes. Talk to Muslim people who have an Islamic direction in life who have been through divorce and have children, this will help you. Remember: "But they plan, and Allah plans. So I sent the information to her father her dad confronted her without the evidence she denied. He loves those who repent. Will you sell it for four hundred dirhams? He said, Yes, O Abu Abd-Allaah., He said, Your horse is worth more than four hundred dirhams. anyway..I am just taking my time and I hope that some day I will just know what to do for sure and I wil do it, until then I will keep suffering.. 1. no third person can come in between a couple unless theres a gap. But I held on to Allah's words. But the 3rd year she suffered from Jinn (posession) and we struggled for years. from clay., (Allah) said: (O Iblees) get down from I recognized, that my wife and my boss were looking each other, but I didnt suspect anything. It could even happen secretly. Bro Usman ,You will come in the category of cuckold husband and as per hadith allah will not have a mercy or look at cuckold husband on day of judgement divorce her at the cost of all sufferings as it is not allowed to stay with zani wife .. 18 June, 2022 Marriages fall apart for many different reasons. Saba, I just happened to read this today and wanted to say that I am sorry to hear about your loss. If the prophet would have run away from Mekka for no reason, then he would not have been the prophet. She may have or get a STD, and will pass it onto me. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Sorry ass He who deceives does not belong to me. According to other reports, He who deceives us is not one of us, or, He is not one of us who deceives us. (Narrated by Muslim). Start looking for a woman who perhaps has gone through the same thing or whose husband has passed away. Or is it because she was the only women that I ever came this close ? Don't listen to the naysayers. You deserve someone, who is always by near you. He can and can't. Anyway. Don't be a stupid person by talking totally from emotions. its not easy to do as i said but do u want your kids to be doing the same thing she did to you. He used to live with an american girl without marriage but left her. Do not let the society/community be a negative force in your life. When you forgive someone its like freeing a prisoner. 7-Another kind of cheating is when some people praise the suitor before the people whose daughter he wishes to marry, speaking of him in the highest terms and describing him as one who prays and is righteous, even though this suitor does not even know the way to the mosque. Is an Entry Fee at a Charity Event Considered Charity? my perfect world. ANd I will never accuse anyone without evidences. And Sister tell me please: Would you like to have an husband, But what I dont understand is this, I have tried many years since we have been divorced to be with her for the sake of my precious daughter but the sister rejected it; how would that be bad in front of Allah for having a, Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), If you talking about being president of the nation, then letstalk, But the imaam doesnt like me! If things do not work out, so long as we become better people, learn from our errors, we can say we did our duty. Cant believe the extent your wife went to. Can he justify his actions by saying that she will get the sin because he did not fulfill his desires? He went to a learned man and told him about his past, explaining that he wished to repent, reform, and become a better person. 2) And then she is allowed to get married to the other man ( after repentance," oh i am really sorry, its a sin , its a mistake, i will never ever do it again.) In anycase, it is not wise to take years to make this decision. A person, who might be honest will suffer a lot, but he will get rewarded by God and he will not have to meet people, because of cheating, lying and not warnig him or openig his eyes. If it is only friendship that you are lacking and support in your religion, then find it with female friends. If we were automatically going to do it, what need would there be in doing this? If I got a guarantee that if I live in an Eastern country, I will automatically go to Jannah, brother, I would go there right now. I wouldve divorced her but she is pregnant with my child and I never want ed to ruin her life. Instead, if you want to get out of this situation since it seems that you no longer wish to be with your wife, get reformed and start looking for another wife. As for moving on, if you respect and assist your daughter in developing the proper religious ways, you have little to fear. Since I reliazed that she was over smart than me and I had no other way of contolling her behaviour I told her that if you ever cheat or get in touch with that man you will be divorced. But the problem was that he kept continuing his sins so I eventually divorced him when i relized he will never change. The truth will reveal itself sooner or later. In sha Allah, we will publish it in turn. Last year he read through my phone messages and found out that I was cheating on him. She is practicing islam in a strong way. http://muslimmatters.org/2009/02/06/the-essence-of-sincere-repentance/. Your PC will be faster than the light. We take note of the contents of your email. ----This is the most common art of sin and here most will things will change: If you have done one of these sins, then you must do two things. repentance and in obedience with true Faith (Islamic Monotheism) to your My issue is my old parents, the society, the children, friends, shame, childern willl lose one of us either way so I am trapped to death in this life..sometme I wish that leave this selfish world and start voulnteering for poor children in asia..It's in-tolerable but I am still hanging in there for 2 years and i will see where I end up..I would have been happier if I had lost $500000 in return of pure beloved wife or love.. Give it a good go and remember you'll be rewarded for your efforts. Even not in hereafter. I am remembering that the rights of the people are very important too. I love him very much and I went through hell with all that happening. And do not spy or backbite each other. Whoever Allah blinds his heart and seals his hearing and sight, then he will not benefit from being forced to embrace Islam.''. I wanted to become a change. i can not forgiv sutch an act from a spous. This is a severe warning to those who cheat (by giving less) in weights and measures, so how about those who steal, embezzle and withhold from the people the things that are their due? Your current wife and her cheating partner cannot take away what Allah (swt) has given you. she had an emotional affair with and english guy. I am not currently living in Jannah. If you are not happy with your husband and cannot live with him, then divorce him and marry someone else. Ironically, it was when his wife bothered him that he did. The arbitrator-ideally a mufti-would decide whether or not there are grounds to enact a divorce without your husband's concept on the mere basis of what he has done. If you cheat you have problems on your own, its not your husband's or wife's fault, you have some major respect issues for you and God. When should I perform sunnah salat? Yes, this divorce would bring me shame and I'm trying to ask him to take me back because it is difficult for me to look after them all by myself. If a husband cheats on his wife, can he blame his wife for his sin or be partially blamed? For money. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most Merciful. hope i helpand i will keep you in my prayer. Don't fear the blame of any blamers, there is no shame in this divorce, there is shame in remaining a dayoooth. But to the point of me. A great debate ensued, and Gabriel was sent as an arbitrator to settle this affair. It is not permissible for students to cheat in exams in any subject, because of the general meaning of this hadeeth and other similar reports. Yet, I will remind you of one thing: you did not force this situation to happen, so stop beating yourself up over this and keeping yourself in a life that you do not want for image sake. There is NO excuse. Assalaamu alaykum. Being betrayed can be one of the most painful things one can experience, especially when that betrayal comes from the hands of the ones that you should trust most, especially ones spouse. No one. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Talk to her. Salam Bros and sisters. I'm deeply sorry to hear about this betrayal that you've experienced. I did. And I found two folded pages from her dairy of two years ago. At last she told me the truth, that she had an affair with my boss and with a boy named Ammar, which lives in Mekka. )who never has cheated on you I am also a victim of a cheating husband amongst other things too. If he doesn't wanna be raising another mans child, he has no choice. indeed the zanis ans zanias will end up in hell. But this doesn't concern me. & 2nd. What Should a Husband Do if the Wife Does Not Want To Have Intercourse? Problem is my father said me that DO NOT DIVORCE and if i divorce , He will never forgive me. or What should she do with her husband who is committing adultery and his I still do not eat home but I hung in there for the sake of kids. start from reminding yourself no one deserves this . so trust ALLAH, HE'll help you find the better way. Ask her what she wants. Its your call how you deal with it and what you can tolerate. She wanted a divorce and I tried to walk things out for the sake of my daughter, even though it would have been the opposite (me wanting to divorce her after all these) but she insisted and finally we are divorced. We understand your predicament. Editors note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholars archive and was originally published at an earlier date. I encourage you and your wife to read The Unexpected Legacy Of Divorce. Get smarter and stronger. My name is Riaz and I live in Mozambique. But its not that easy. I have been married for almost 8 years with 2 kids that I love dearly. Will I get punished because I lied to my boss, that my wife was on vacation, when she was not? If muslims indulge in such acts then who will show the islamic guidance to this world? I stopped checking on whether he was being faithful or not anymore, I wanted to trust him and give him the chance to proof me wrong before we could start having kids. the Day of Resurrection). Quran (Surah Hood, Verse 3), "Say: 'O Ibadee (My servants) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! The man who killed 99 people didn't get a chance to ask forgiveness from the ones he murdered--yet Allah forgave him. usman, I don't see why your divorce should affect your sisters' marriages. What you found out was very distressing, but this does not warrant you committing the sin of spying on her and tricking her by pretending to be someone else. But brother, we are all sinners. Inna Lilaah WA Inna ileyhi raji'un. If someone tells you that you will suffer publicly and that it's impossible to avoid it, don't listen. Give me the conviction and courage to end this nightmare!". But the date didnt match. Seems many stories r similar to mine.. My wife started cheating in year 2010/11 and paused for a while. Allah wants that we make sins to forgive us in following. I'm putting this response as a general one for everyone who shared his/her problem here, (according to best of my little knowledge), if your wife keeps cheating on you despite your warnings, care, love and sort of acts; short and simple answer is to LEAVE her . You have to understand that no person is perfect, she needs to understand that more than you. Have you forgiven her? So break out of it and rely on Allah (swt) by returning back to Him, praying and making up for what you are losing by surrendering to other people's mistakes. No one can convince me. and he goes to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until Why didn't the Prophet (s.a.w.s) nor the Angels (who carried him) mention that he will have to face them? I confronted her about it but she wouldn't tell me anything. Let''s get divorced", I would say her in this kind: "XYZ i am sorry. Anyway, I hope you are eating and sleeping well and all go well with you. Git ve kzn bandan hibir olay gememi namuslu bir kadn gibi evlendir." on top of it? But she is not even being a good mother to my daughter and lack of respect. A women with such a nature can never be sincere to you unless Allah guides her well. Everyone is telling YOU to get things right for your children and wife, trying to sort the marriage out, but look, you wasn't the one that cheated! after 3 months of marriage i found my wife in affair with another man i shout on her & give her a slap and she sorry me & i get sleep & next morning i got up & see my wife is not in home ? I will not believe your words that you clearly didn't provide proof for--rather I will believe in the two things that Allah mentions in the Quran: 1. Start praying , insha allah, and wake up in the last third of the night to pray and tell Allah everything that is bothering you, insha allah there will be a way out. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Then, he felt remorse. That knocked the wind rite out of my sails. Sometimes we have good thoughts, in reality, these thoughts seem good but are abhorring. Allah s.w.t punishes both the adulterer and the adulteress equally. Men and women make mistakes. I find this all extremely amusing. The angels of punishment and of mercy both came to take away his soul. i have talked and advised her and also try to change myself since i thought she might be lonely. Zak, Allah forgives or punishes as He wills, and He is always just. If you find your wife cheating. hasten to repent as Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says I pray that Allah heals your broken heart. I will share with you the only medicine to our pain: Allah swt. I Just Discovered My Wife Has Been Cheating on Me, I Dont Like My Wife; Ill Surely Cheat on Her Again, Got a Cheating Spouse? You are also saying that they are for sure going to suffer severe punishment with NO HOPE of forgiveness. Is this fair Brother? I'm divorced not disabled, It's like I'm not good enough for guys in London. divorce wasn't my fault my husband cheated many times. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". You have gone to trap on your own. Rulings on a wife who has contact with another man, Husband must follow steps to discipline wife in order, Wife boycotts in-laws and refuses intimacy with husband, His wife wants to leave him for another man, Religions, Sects and Da'wah (Call to Islam), Jinaayaat (Criminology) and Islamic Judicial System, Islamic Politics and International Affairs, Medical Issues, Media, Culture and Means of Entertainment. Every single one of us. does Toba and seek forgiveness and promise not to do again, then its up to you, you It is something for Allah swt to judge. Just be real. I have consulted my family and prayed Istikhara but I am confused. One of the worst things that the one who has been disobedient towards Allah can do is trying to justify his sin by referring to something that is worse than it and trying to justify his transgression of the sacred limits by making up excuses when he knows that the truth of the matter is that he was overcome by desires, by his nafs (self) that pr. I am glad you have a daughter and not a son, this would make bonding between mother and step daughter a little more easier. but trust me, our DEEN is not that hard and harsh and BOUND to such tiny things. She told me, that she chatted with a Ammar in Facebook and they wanted to meet there in Mekka to have intercourse. this (Paradise), it is not for you to be arrogant here. You can never know what hideous sin or crime in the past, he or she has really concealed in heart. may Allah get you out of this mental torture , bring peace in you heart and in your life and bring you a spouse who would value you and love you and may you also feel the same towards her. Live your life the way you want it. May Allah guide us all. Whereas the losers stay in abject fear, get down and scared about "what could happen." (Remainder of comment has been deleted. I really don't need to say, that we all should in our heart know the answer.
Salesianum School Ranking, Articles M