wife doesn t care about my interests

IT'D JUST BEEN A TIME-BUYING FOB-OFF! when other people he loved abused me badly he would expose me to even more harm even if i did complain. Its getting submissive with your own opinions, because your partner has the gift of eloquence. There are two sides to each perspective and I am sad such a judgmental and one sided perspective exists on a Christian page. I feel like we have just an obligation to our kids and our marriage since I got pregnant early. This is 5 years marriage, You cant understand what life is like in this situation unless youve been there. He said, 'Oh, yeah?' The mean spiritedness thereafter is due to demonic enties taking over. Maria is willing to live on the surface. I spoke to her about this without coming out and bluntly stating what I just wrote. But that backfired when my wife found out. And yet I cannot betray the vows of our marriage. That being that I shouldn't allow my feelings to be dismissed and if she refuses couples counseling that I need to take a step back. Once shes mad, the first step to resolving it is by me apologizing. They are justifying this rash behavior by saying three words after they did not care enough how they talked to you. Carrot rather than stick. The fact that due to you she agreed AND got involved speaks volumes and *is* Success, certainly half the battle, called, grasping the constantly-rotating interactional loop that's been floor-bound due to the negative weights it's been picking up en route from you to her to you, etc. But apparently Jason married (to put it bluntly) a selfish person. i am so afraid that if he ever goes back to who he was it will just kill me and i will have to divorce him. My wife thinks I don't care because I don't ask her questions There could be outside influences putting pressure on the relationship like work or medical problems. Kissing or hugging her in the mornings has been accepted more as a duty rather than a need. He even said thats how couple is when together for long. This guy, according to Jason, is "as solid as they come.". But I believe therapy can help. He said, 'It's just easier like thatshowering and getting ready for work and stuff'. I hope I have been able to open up your eyes to her perspective. God bless us all! my hubby used to be exactly like jasons wife, if not more. Or is that just your excuse for the fact you haven't tried HARD enough to impress the seriousness of all of this from your POV onto her? Full video https://youtu.be/Hn0uyTil9Q4?t=619Link ALWAYS in the Description. NEXT STORY - https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4qCR1644UR0Z4S8QKTe0MYZFVa. Loving someone involves doing your best to connect with them, understand them, and accept them for who they are. We have two amazing independent teenagers as well.I thought we had a solid marriage as did everyone else around us. How is Maria feeling? Manly up and rear up. Who wants an overly heavy-handed gorilla looking after (and roaring at) the highly sensitive nippers any time she herself is incapacitated? i hoped things would be fine one day. One moment they love you and the next they want to rip your head off. Life happens, and when you reach these hurdles . When I first met Mr Soulmate (Spain), he had a typical ex-forces shaven head habit (Grade 4), despite I could see no receding hairline or bald patch, meaning, was hiding a decidedly rare plus-point for his age (LOADSA head hair). I said, when you're having a much-needed barnie and can see you're getting to the real issue, yet they're indicating they're flooding in their own way (starting to argue ad hominem, trying to get you to just back off), it feels as if they've had this evil little maggot inside them, ruining the show for the both of you, finally having shown its head and shoulders, meaning, although one side of you can see the merit in an intermission - who feels like letting slip what might be their one-and-only chance EVER to finally grab it, pull it out of them and kill it once-and-for-all? I mean, wow. i have probably become like Jasons wife but for the above stated reasons. (It ain't rocket-science and it's only 50 piddly minutes per week or fortnight on avg.) I recently found a female friend that I could talk and hangout at work. I refuse to jump to assumptions on what the problem is or rather what the solution is because Maria unfortunate might not even be aware of what Jason thinks of her. My kids asked me why its not like before, because I maintained it before but now I dont give effort, its like this. Dont we all. Do we all want to spend every day being belittled, beaten, terrorized, or completely ignored because the person acts as though we do not even exist? I therefore told her that I would try to manage my feelings somehow and keep them away from her just to keep the peace in our family. So, issues will come up in the future, they're bound to. You care about that person, not the person you want them to be. They are passive and think only of what their wives should do for them, or how their wives should be. Both my parents have passed away an so has my grandparents. She thinks whatever I am upset about is ridiculous and unjustified therefore invalidating my feelings. I know this isn't good, at a certain point. Same for a man's ability to admit he did know all the answers (course) despite caught for a while there in easier denial. When I receive a hug; it feels so very good inside of me, like something is healing. Is this really it for me? I know its terribly disappointing when you are a good person and you have gone into a relationship with perfect love and perfect trust and your partner disappoints you and betrays you and shatters your trust in love. That is the female human definition of HOT/IMPRESSIVE. Is this my story? I cant tell anyone because my relatives just tells me thats how marriage is. It was my fault I got pregnant overseas working with a government company in China. Everything was going well for many years. Amen Rhonda. I've had several conversations with different people and gained some insight. then later he began to reach out to me, he cried and did all sorts of things to get me to forgive him and come back home. (Did you (her perception) cry wolf too many times, perhaps?). In fact, sometimes it's the only preventative/salvager there is. I sympathize with Jason in many ways I am in that boat. I read all the heartfelt postings and it feels both sad but also comforting to know that we are not alone. Its simply her crying out for you to act lovingly towards her. She says she loves me but when I try to talk about our relationship she gets mad and wont talk about it. He said if I dont ask a direct question, he didnt see why he should have to respond. Try changing the game and treat them the way you want to be treated. So you say nothing, and avoid any serious conversation because its too difficult. She never asks Jason how hes doing, what hes feeling, or how he thinks the relationship is goingeven though he has repeatedly expressed his desire that she do that. After all, we made it so far. What we worked so hard for. Remember that the power that lives in you is the power that raised Jesus from the grave. I know I deserve to be happy and with someone who doesn't treat me poorly. She started to tremble with anger and told me she could not deal with my health issues and that she already had emotionally given up on me five years ago. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ My husbands is friends with 2 dear priests and looks so shiny on the outside. Its not healthy in any way and my sanity is on the brink of destruction. Our diversity and uniqueness was an asset and actually brought us together. At 45, and nearly an empty nest, this Both of you need to be giving 100% at all times for it to work. Empowering Jason as a victim, whom may be potential abusive, on a faith based page is awful. if i greeted him when we saw each other at some social functions where we both happened to be present he would spread rumours that i wanted him back and was trying to get his attention. We must give credit where it's due, though: TDOS and I were obviously coming from the exact same place. Not only do you have your priorities straight in terms of the importance of this relationship compared to all else, but it's rare for a man to be so honest, humble and resourceful, despite under-fire, as to basically conduct what most men would call an exercise in denting his (so-called) pride by daring to take a poll amongst people that know him personally. Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . But still, he doesnt reach out to even ask whats the problem? if I dont talk to him, he wont. Im Christian, thats why I stayed. During the last five years, I felt were disconnecting further. ('Do you remember back when you always used to X? He wont help me around the house nothing but take out the trash. We still sleep in the same bed but she avoids any contact (she gets up before I get up and comes to bed after I am asleep). I have lined up a babysitter and made a list of date night ideas (to which she only had me cross off a few ideas). Your son and you deserve better. It is sad because I see his father and he is the same as his father. Maria says she wants that, too, in the abstract, but the only talk she initiates is about surface things: decorating the house, what the kids need done, or something her mother told her. The last couple of months she has told several people and me that she dosnt need me for financial help , she can make it on her own, makes me feel low. But I know this is impossible. I started praying soo much this past year. I am very affectionate toward her, tell her I love her all the time and try my best to give her space when she needs it. i am afraid to give my husband my heart so i would rather take care of my heart by myself. If you beg for attention and don't receive it, you will feel rejected. It needs fixing. I know how you feel because my husband treats me that way. Talk to your wife, love your wife as Christ loved the church. He wants to be yoyr friend, confidante and more. I need to talk out my thoughts and feelings i cant just bottle them up and not speak!!!! I am good looking because there are still expressing attractions everytime but to him, he says he do but he doesnt. She doesn't care about you if she never compromises and always want things done her way. When I ask him why hes behaving like this he says its because I only ever want to talk about serious things and I dont want to have any fun, so he avoids me. "I spoke to her about this without coming out and bluntly stating what I just wrote." It might be that your spouse has lost an interest, but you dismissed it as being the norm lately. I am writing this at a weak moment but just needed to feel like someone out there could pray for me. But there's your original, now very manifest problem: Your decision to settle, despite was enough fuel to run on for a few years, including producing a baby, is now, through you, situationally coming to a head (ker-boom!). When we got married, I was an on air personality for a major television channel and he was signed to a major record label But he didnt want me to work so I could travel with him, so I stopped. My husband and I share some of the same neurological disorders (Aspergers Syndrome, sensory processing disorder) but he has other (Or ANY context.) I am now looking for some type of marriage therapy, something I should have done many years ago. As long as she and Jason do fun things (according to Marias definition) and take care of the house and family, shes happy in her marriage. If you're referring to your right chivvying/wrong tone, then, yup. Dont react harshly. I LOVED thatbecause X, Y, ZIt used to make me go all gooey', etc.) 30 Signs Your Wife Doesn't Love You Anymore - Marriage.com First step: throw off your mental straitjacket. If I didnt have 2 young children, I would leave 100%. Hes not checking out. I do the finances and she cant make it with out my income but she loves to tell people how much she dont need me. to be truthful most of the times i dont care whether he is happy or not. There is no compromise there. We have been married for 21 years and he just walked out on me and my two children because we are two different people emotionally. Affection. When It Feels Like Your Partner Doesn't Care About You He ALWAYS wants to be close to you. Giving to get is the worlds view of love, but its not Christs. AHhh I need someone to talk to, I with to God I could talk to her instead of someone else. I will let you know what happens. (sounds awful ladies and sounds like hes wonderful for that, shame on his wife right? I have learned that one can never really know about someone elses marriage. I love my husband but i also see he is not intimate or close with Jesus. I sometimes feel so alone in my frustration when she seems so uncaring about showing me a little affection or just telling me she loves me randomly. Stuck means paralysed. all this was happening in the first 5 years of our marriage. Anyway, it's your hair so you can do what you like! I'll tell them where the problem is: there are two ways a relationship can die: One is by one of you jumping off the Love Mountain and dragging your other half over the cliff-edge with you and the other is by SLIDING down slowly but surely and painfully, feeling every sharply jutting rock. How to impress management (which applies to *co*-management/partnership): in the same breath as stating the problem each time, present a number of achievable solutions. The clues are there that they have been slipping away, but sometimes we look the other way in order to keep the family intact. I guess I can understand a perspective like this but posting this type of blog is very skewed and can really empower an abusive person in a wrong way with very one sided perspective. We have been to counseling, talked to pastor, engaged with other couples about this and its gotten better, but its still very difficult for me. Whether it's fishing, scrapbooking, running, cooking, reading, or yard work, our interests serve to bring our stress and anxiety levels down a few notches. any suggestions from anyone would be great. Some people might say I should just get a divorce but I love her deeply, I want things to work out for us. and. There are no solutions that arent already staring me in the face. maybe indeed you have to become more "cool" in that not "everything bothers you all the time" ( as in oversensitive) but I do think it is your right to not agree with some things and speak about it : indeed maybe you have to then take a step back so as to consider and come forth with an articulate, rational and thought through thinking process and not just only hyper emotionality (if that is the case) Is Ow! If someone does something against me he will always take their side. A: You need two basic tools here: Strategies in the moment that help defuse the brag-o-mania, and a sensitive, private conversation that generalizes the issue. I am willing to work it out but he says hes known me for 30 years and I wont change. I was told that a parenting marriage might be advisable but the idea makes me sick to my stomach. You don't feel comfortable around him. I mean, When we have thees fights, the pain is so immense that I'll do anything to make it stop. I did have one such conversation that was revealing. I thought I could handle the lack of affection. He tunes out when I initiate conversation. Things were getting better and then things started falling apart again. I explained to her I would no longer take any initiative for affection since it makes her obviously very uncomfortable and upset. i am in a fighting back mode because i have been hurt before but this time i will not allow it. So essentially, I have to apologize for my feelings being hurt and she doesn't share any responsibility in the matter. I know that there is no ideal marriage. How can someone who proclaims to love you be completely devoid of wanting to participate together financially, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, or intellectually? AM.,,Good Luck. He refuses to talk to me about anything serious and gives me the cold shoulder or just flat out ignores me during the day. I do think that married couples need to make compromises and make reasonable changes. Bless you all xoxoxo, Dear Gentle Souls, Its not going to change. Embrace her. Get it and SWOON! I could tell. If that does not work, ask for someone to mediate. I need to accept that somehow. Hes not a bad person I just think hes a bad husband, doesnt help out doesnt take care the house I have to do everything. I cry and he just looks at me and says i need to change and be more calm when speaking. I cant even cry anymore soo many years of crying, begging so she can tell me to let her sleep and that I exaggerate things. Second step: Find the right moment to announce something along these lines (and include the motherly manipulation for the power of good bit): 'Houston, wholly irrespective of who started it or whos carrying it on, blah-blah, we undeniably have a problem. NEITHER of you are trying enough, IMO. Nagging may be the worst thing she can do to get that from you, but she doesnt see that. I want to create that space where she feels safe, where she can be vulnerable with me. But, yes, you did bring a child into this family and so for ITS sake you first have to do all that's in your power to salvage it, if possible.
She Pushes Me Away So I Give Her Space, Articles W