A substantial explanation for why they cant visit can go a long way in convincing kids that youre not a bad parent. You were noisy at that age too, every kid is! Once you get on the same page with their parents, it will be easier to instill the new rules with the children. Use to come around lunch, now before we even have breakfast. Mother was on drugs. First, some background. She doesn't take no for an answer. Hello. Too Much of a Good Thing?? Neighbor's Kid Is Always Over. Jun 25, 2023 at 1:45 PM. Laura Dern, right, and her mother Diane Ladd have adapted a series of their conversations into the new book Honey, Baby, Mine. They are immigrants so the parents do not speak any English. Here are a few tips to get you motivated and inspired to deal with the situation: And more importantly, do not forget we are talking about kids. Leave no stone unturned and no leaf visible to the naked eye. If you suspect the neighbors kid is being abused at home, report it or call 9-1-1. I grew up in a neighborhood where we knocked on each other's doors daily, but we never kicked or screamed. The kids however are age 11 and 5 and speak English pretty fluently. This can be annoying and problematic. Today. In my last house, I was 39 weeks pregnant, packing for an out of state move, etc. Display as a link instead, Unattended child turns up = take home. You can also make rules about them playing outside vs. inside. One time they even stayed until dinner. brody says: November 16, 2016 . I've tried several times. 25 answers. You may also arrange with your neighbors if they require assistance with their childs care so that you can all be more comfortable with the situation at the moment. Parents who fail to supervise children under 18 may be subject to a fine. Copyright 2010-2021 For example, they let their kids watch Beavis and Butthead, think it's hilarious to burp and fart out loud (the adults!) Maybe as. We have a neighbor kid who has banged and kicked at our doorit was shocking and took me a second to process. You don't have to tell him why, or tell him when to come back, or talk to his mother, or anything. They have 2 older kids (4 & 9). Yes! Sounds like OP doesn't like the kid and the mom. I hate that story time is just at bedtime now. I would have them outside burning energy when the weather is nice and really come up with so boundaries as to behavior and times that are good for you. I would be setting some firm boundaries. That's blatant inconsideration, but kids running around? Do you have her phone number? By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. If they are underage, parents can get fined because of this. But yet when they see my kids doing outside tasks, they do seem to really enjoy it. If your neighbors kids keep coming over uninvited, you need to have a discussion with their parents. She needs to mom-up and parent her own kid. Neighbor vs. Neighbor: Shut Your Kids Up! - ABC News How Often Is Too Often to for a Family Member to Come Visit? If you are that protective of your yard, you should think of installing a simple fence that will keep the children from entering your property. So dont worry, most people struggle with this. This kid's dad actually does come over every time, so then I feel like I have to "entertain" him instead of working on lesson plans, menus, etc, which is what I generally do while my kids play in the cul de sac. Kids are just learning the ways of the world on their own time, so it is important to set personal boundaries with them. Be firm, be consistent and don't stress if you need to tell him 15 times a day at first. 3 4 Next Page 1 of 4 macmacmoo Members 445 Posted March 8, 2013 My boys are 4.5 and 1.5 years old. The older has no safety awareness at all, and would mow over my toddler, accidentally whack him with a stick or bat, whatever. Simply knock a couple of times on the adjoining wall to give your neighbor a head's up. Pasted as rich text. She is using you. 16 answers A new kid "Bobby" has moved into our neighborhood just a block away. Problem is, we literally cannot walk outside without the neighbor kids wanting to come over and play. I was okay with my 6 and 3 yo playing in the yard while I'd pop out to check on them, watch from the window, etc. The kid is pounding and kicking at your door, you call his mom and tell her to come get her kid. It is okay to say no, for no good reason. In many ways it was nice, but it also comes with challenges. Also, and more importantly, my niece, whom I adore and have staying with me often, is the same age as the daughter (11). Answer (1 of 12): Right now the answer to that is NO. Maybe set this rhythm and your neighbor will quickly catch on? Within 2 weeks of us moving in, they would be over at our house playing even when we weren't home. Therefore, ignore the children as much as possible. Is it too much to ask my upstairs neighbor to have his kid play - Quora This also may be a good opportunity to have another conversation with their parents and let them know that some clear boundaries need to be set regarding when their child can come over. Most weekend he's coming over fri and sat and sometimes he stays the whole weekend. Inform the parents so that everyone is on the same page. Hang a sign on your doorknob. However, try not to blame the parents for not letting the kids come over. One thing that staying home offers your children is a set rhythm to their day. Likewise, when he's over and we've had enough, I have no problem telling him that it's time for him to go home and will escort him to the door. I would try the smiley face/sad face sign on the door and tell the little boy "ds can't play right now, we're reading/doing chores/having family time". I rapidly realized these kids needed very, very firm boundaries. I had this situation going on a few years ago with our neighbor - four year old just knocking constantly! They will eventually grow bored that they are not able to get a reaction out of you and will look for an easier target. Please go home. A courtesy knock may help. Then I started feeling bad that they wouldn't share her own toys with her and sometimes would even tell her to leave them alone. There is a good book called "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend. Horshoes can be fun too, but the above list is really great! If she refuses to pick him up, call the non-emergency police number and ask them for advice. The little 6 year old boy next door is ALWAYS wanting to come over. She would tell me how boring it was, etc. (Heres How to Find Out! In one case, one neighbor was leaving their youngest son home alone (I won't go into details, but it was eyebrow raising. The kids however are age 11 and 5 and speak English pretty fluently. The child will learn that if the garden gnome isn't on the front steps than you are not up for company and won't open the door unless its an emergency. The couple could have faced a $250 fine and 15 days in jail, but the village court dismissed the charges. They do not deserve to get yelled at if they do not know any better. Lets discuss the appropriate ways to involve the authorities, whether that be a mediator or child protective services. She gets along well with kids who are much older than her. Eighteen months on she is still living with the consequences of the revelation and wants others to . :blink: If we had, our mothers would have found out, and life as we knew it would have been over. We've had kids like this in the neighborhood. Ask Scary Mommy: I Love Being The Neighborhood 'Fun House,' But It Has She asks if they can play, you either answer yes or no. I've always lived out in the country with no neighbors so all visits were prearranged by parents who had to drive their kids wherever they were going. I told him no, I cannot supervise you right now. To start a conversation with your neighbor, you should approach them during downtime, such as while relaxing in their yard or walking their dog. I would answer the door and say it isn't playtime or it's family time, and you need to go home. Reddit, Inc. 2023. Wow, this poor kid does not sound like someone I would want my child playing with, and I'd be ticked that another mother was using me for free babysitting whenever she had an errand to run, or just wanted a break from her intense kid. Sometimes no one would answer the door even when home and we knew to move on. I had to start telling her "sorry we can't play today, try again tomorrow". "No one can take advantage of you without your permission. If he didn't, I think I would just close the door saying, "bye" as I did. I really don't mind as they play really well with my son and they are nice children. This indicates concern if they dont seem to be interested. This will ensure that you keep your peace and they learn how to follow rules. When we moved to the suburbs, we knocked or rang the bell. I think the green light/red light sign might be a useful visual reminder for the boy. I don't know how to say no or set boundaries with her. If the child is showing signs of violence, it is a good idea to call Child Protective Services. Here are a few helpful hints to help you with the child: You might also enjoy our post on What to Do if Your Neighbor Wont Turn Down Their Music. Tell both the child and his mother that he can come over during X time of the day, but not at other times. @Married2aMarine (1273) United States. Getting Started: Beginning the Home Education Adventure, Apps, Learning Games, and Online Enrichment Activities, Science Courses: Text/Online Support Packages, Resources (and Curricula) for Processing Difficulties, Giving You and Your Child a Road Map to the Best Possible Education, "Sorry, that's not possible at this time. You can also consider contacting a child expert or counselor to effectively sensitize the children across the neighborhood and effectively tutor them on lifestyle. My neighbor is also a stay at home mom, her boys are 5 and 5 months. If your neighbors kids keep coming into your yard, you need to set boundaries with them and their parents. Given the audacity of telling you "it's not like you have anything else to do" (except provide her free daily babysitting services, apparently), she probably won't accept no for an answer without pushing back. All rights reserved. She is using you and playing you for a fool -- and you're allowing her to do it. I agree. My boys know they don't play with the neighborhood kids until 3pm each day. So I walked the kid home and said to the mom, well we had an okay time, except in the beginning kid was kicking our door and I had to tell him that was just not okay. Talk to the parents so both parties are aware of this. THe kids play hours of video games all day every day. This means Yard Blogger may earn a commission if you make a purchase using any of our links. When he knocks/pounds/screams at the door, tell him, "We can't play right now. Your kids are more important than other peoples' kids no matter what. They are immigrants so the parents do not speak any English. The establishment of clear boundaries with the family will, at the very least, provide some ground rules for what they understand to be acceptable and undesirable behavior. His family lives a different kind of lifestyle than we do. Warn her once then call child protection / local police about an abandoned child. Usually the inside door was open, and we called for the person in a singsongy voice through the screen door. I didn't know what to say to that. Sheesh. I can't get much done because i'm having to actually watch them and break things up constantly. I'm not a parent, but I AM a guardian, albeit part time. It develops their self-esteem in a healthy way and reduces unnecessary conflict. Or wander into my backyard to see what was going on. Then one afternoon when I thought the coast was clear I took my kids out to the front yard and a few minutes later they came over and reached over to unlock the gate without asking me if they could. Planting bushes is also a more natural solution that will give your house a great touch of charm. Keep a few on hand for when the neighbor kids come over. Nothing is more annoying than privacy intrusion! Set the example! Therefore, you should bring a mediator into the situation. I remember playing own our neighborhood in the 80's and we didn't knock on doors everyday. See you tomorrow!". Or "I am tired and don't want to watch extra kids today." :ack2: Yeah, we needed all you non-knockers for kickball. Sometimes the parents would say it was ok to leave us to play but mom would not just assume. (How lucky she must feel getting her errand, housework and some free time from her son while you do all the work.). We'd call, "Oh, Mike-y! Reddit, Inc. 2023. Try to remain calm, even if you are becoming annoyed at the situation. I hope you don't think I'm picking on you, because that's not my intention at all. I definitely value having a neighborhood where kids play outside, and it was a priority for us, especially with HSing. Unfortunately, this can happen from property issues like unattended trash or refusing to fix sewage problems.