But when she died all of that poison controlling my life , went in the grave with her. The misconceptions people have about migraine are an exercise in patience for me. Ive never commented anyone before, but I decided to reply to you bc its short and sweet. Well, to begin with, if you're not right, then you are indeed wrong, with all the accompanying sense of humiliation and failure. So our famous question becomes slightly different, would you rather be happy, or would you rather assert your power over those around you? If you are asking the question, you already know the answer. Were sorry to see that you [the west] live the way you live, but we keep quiet about it.. What we call being right is not actually about possessing the truth, its about impressing your will on other people: making them declare you are right. Reviewed by Davia Sills. For them, belief in Christian dogma leads to happiness. Tips for getting along with your significant others during the pandemic. Shame, when toxic, is a paralyzing global assessment of oneself as a person. Critics say the ruling will allow businesses to discriminate against LGBTQ+ people. Some have the insight and openness to admit this to themselves and others. Thank you for reading. We perhaps need for ourselves some breaks and care less about our thoughts and emotions. They'll probably be just fine. At the same time, the European religious right modernized its messaging, Paternotte said. Dysfunctional family dynamics do not discriminate among socioeconomic status. Have you ever argued about how to load a dishwasher? A similar tactic has been used in Uganda by the religious right and Museveni. Less than a week after the U.S. Supreme Court struck down Biden's $400 billion student loan forgiveness plan for its extreme overreach, he suffered another blow in court . Five years later, Ugandan president Yoweri Museveni signed a law that made same-sex relationships punishable by death, asserting that western groups and gay people were coming into our schools and recruiting young children into homosexuality. And now I understand . Freedom from resentment and pain can follow the decision to let go. Africa, eastern Europe and Latin America often function as petri dishes for strategy as US groups abroad help craft legislation and fight legal battles. Sending you understanding thoughts and virtual hugs. Situation selection is anotherchoosing positive stimuli like movies and music. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional. Our educational system is rooted in the construct of right and wrong. The question is, why? Well, thats what therapy is for. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately. Despite its potential benefits, family estrangement continues to be stigmatized. Some things are kinda priceless like loyalty, being real , love, care, grace, compassion, support and comfort, kindness, real friendship, respect, hope, spiritual sacred Union in love , sanity, peace, calmness,good sleep and rest, healing . Somehow, when you get depressed, and everything begins to look ugly and feel bad, it becomes more important to affirm the truth of this feeling than to "be happy." Perhaps there was a component of disillusionment that also takes place when depression moves in, accounting for the shift in world view. Could we accept being incorrect without any loss or embarrassment? Sorrow is better than fear. Our immune system uses inflammation to fend off infection and heal injuries, but when this system is overburdened, inflammation can also fuel mental health conditions. It quickens our pulse, causes us to shout, and can sever relationships. Another possibility is that they have hormone imbalances and the more subdued stimuli offers a weakened adrenal/thyroid etc. Same is the case with me. Fine-tuned in Africa and elsewhere, arguments used to attack rights overseas have been re-imported to the US as the religious right warns again that the left and gay people are grooming seven-year-olds and promoting pedophilia. If it was really that simple then you wouldnt need to be told it in the first place. They give up trying to express their thoughts and feelings. This is akin to an inarticulate speaker attempting some semblance of good communication, but lacking those skills, s/he dwells on salient terms, pausing to repeat with added vocal stress on just the one word or phrase, sometimes several times in a row. As a marriage counselor, I often ask people if they'd rather be right, or if they'd rather be happy. I cannot be hurt because I am no longer worried about myself, but now empathetic toward others feelings. One of the most common ways people choose to be right over being happy is when someone points out something about you that scares you. YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. Its what we know, and sometimes we are afraid that even if we try to make ourselves happy. starts and ends within the same node. For me, when Im impacted by a situation where my thoughts have become low on myself, Ill stay in the low place for a while, a few hours. It most often comes up when I treat couples in which each person is trying desperately to get the other one to see the truth (that they are right). What Is the 'Triangle Method' Flirting Technique? The spread across the world illustrates how Americas evangelical and Catholic right has globalized over the past 15 years by helping establish a vast web of anti-LGBTQ+ zealots who share ideas, messaging and funding. Borrowing is expensive. Meanwhile, the US Christian right in the European Union largely focuses on legal infrastructure, said Neil Datta, who leads the European Parliamentary Forum for Sexual and Reproductive Rights. Would you rather be Right or Happy? And other life lessons A mounting share of federal revenue, money that could be used for the benefit of the American people, goes right back out the door in the form of interest payments to . To the point. Ariana Madix says she's certainly in a better place now than a few months ago when it comes to Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss . When you get upset with your partner, you dont handle it well. Finally, even when depressed subjects were explicitly trained to reappraise situations in more positive ways, they chose not to use the strategy as often as healthy controls. But I get his point. 2 days of "and the lord heard me - i have my answers" || nsppd || 6th july 2023 As you do this, also remind yourself that other people are not so different from you they like feeling respected even when others disagree. I dont know why but its somethibg that happens to me periodically. In the latter, issues of right and wrong don't equivalently inform one's sense of self or identity. It simply massages your ego, but it doesn't inspire a genuine learning experience. ". It would be better if solutions were included too . system more protection. Its easy to say youd prefer to be happy, but your revealed preferences suggest otherwise. Rumination, very common in depression, is an example of a maladaptive regulation strategy. In Poland, authorities have used new laws to harass LGBTQ+ activists, and around 100 municipalities nearly a third of the country in 2019 passed resolutions declaring themselves free of LGBT ideology. It would really serve us to inquire why it is so compelling. Ever notice how you tense up when someone disagrees with you? This is true of so many people. iTunes Download:http://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/everything/id421077017Visit: http://www.jasonmccoy.com Wonderful, amazing. We are used to thinking about transitional objects for children rather than adults. You give up your insistence on being correct and instead choose happiness. This is nothing new although unusual in society flooded with antidepressant taking people. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. A great memorable quote from the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie on Quotes.net - Slartibartfast: Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I think that the chances of finding out what's actually going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say, "Hang the sense of it," and keep yourself busy. More than half of employees (56%) age 18 to 24, a demographic classified as Gen Z, say they would quit a job that prevented them from enjoying their lives, a new survey suggests. Carl Jung is known for having said, "I'd rather be whole, than good." For a while now, this quote has been stuck in the back of my mind, working it's way around, and testing out the waters . The cookie stores information anonymously and assigns a randomly generated number to recognize unique visitors. He is a licensed clinical psychologist and a Registered Nurse (RN) in the state of California and is a certified TeleMental Health Provider by the TeleMental Health Institute, TMHI. Will demonstrating that you are right have a positive impact on anything you care about? This time, though, instead of fighting it tooth and nail, you express your opposition politely and then give way. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. Its simply not worth the aggravation. We may be able to develop it with our friends or spouses. Theyre trying to redefine human rights in a more restrictive sense and thats happening nationally and globally.. About one-third of adults are single, some by choice and some involuntarily so. But then your last thought said it all. Still I always try to be. On the way we are given lessons we misunderstand. The religious rights play in Africa, where it has successfully lodged itself in many nations political and elite establishment, is about power and money, said Kapya Kaoma, a Uganda-born pastor who now lives in Boston. US Intel executive actively responsible for driving anti-LGBTQ+ agenda in Africa, say campaigners, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, 2023 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. When you have done something annoying, inconsiderate or hurtful, own up to it. Quote of the Day: "I'd far rather be happy than right any day." - Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (published 40 years ago today) Image: by Kurt Stocker - CC license . Many people are struggling with each other at the same time they are struggling with the stress of the coronavirus. When I do, I feel less alone, I feel understood. When we give up the need to be right, we communicate and listen on a deeper . An epidemic of sexual shame is crippling people taught to be "pure.". Because of this, they are not terribly interested in questioning it too closely. but that doesn't mean she can totally move on. That's where it all falls down, of course." "Pity", said Arthur. Do Social Norms Against Discussing Religion Do More Harm Than Good? They chose more happy images than sad images, and whats more, they said they preferred happiness to sadness. Emotions are NOT controllable. Would You Rather Be Happy and Wrong or Unhappy and Right? Female infidelity has a long history of stigma and shame. Like when some flowers are threatened, their petals will close for a time. But often our spouses or friends are not any better equipped for taking responsibility than we aremaybe even less so. She accomplishes this through her work as a psychotherapist, speaker and writer. A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface. This inclination leads to the need to win an argument, which assures that no one is actively listening. Okay, FIRST OF ALL Sadness is not a CHOICE I dont choose to be sad all the time, OKAY! Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. Despite people trying to make you happy, you feel safer in that pit but it can never be understood by most. Some strategies are adaptive and others not. Tolle is the author of the highly acclaimed #1 New York Times bestseller "The Power of Now", in which he explains that by honoring the present moment all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. Shoot the Damn Dog Quotes Showing 1-30 of 70. Would you rather be rich and un happy or poor and happy? Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Why would you say that to yourself? I completely agree with Mike. Artist : Michael FranksAlbum : Time TogetherRelease : June 2011Label : Shanachie It is so deeply embedded in our belief system and in the collective psyche that we never even pause to consider it. Being concerned purely with being right will not lead you into arguments. The person may say you made a minor error, dropped the ball in some way, or didn't follow through. The problem may be more basic. Hi, I feel exactly what you wrote below. Like our mothers taught: WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. The conventional view of relationships is mechanical and contributes to couples' struggles. Apparently hes not alone in this sad choice. Out of that process, the Vatican in the 2000s developed the term gender ideology, Datta said, which is similar to potent transgender messaging the US religious right imported several years later. Perspective and a change of heart changes. It is a choice though. Kaoma called on Pope Francis to intervene but the Vatican has long avoided the issue until earlier this year when Francis said being gay is a sin, but not a crime. When you feel annoyed, frustrated, or angry at the other/s, ask yourself whether the issue is worth having a fight about. US religious right at center of anti-LGBTQ+ message pushed around the During a 2004 news conference on the Iraq War, a reporter asked President Bush to cite an example of a decision he regretted or an admission of something he did wrong during his presidency. Smart Grocery Shopping When You Have Diabetes, Surprising Things You Didn't Know About Dogs and Cats, Fat Growing Around Muscles Could Be a Silent Killer, Chronic Pain More Common Than Many Top Illnesses, Vitamin D Supplements May Help Ease Long COVID, Black Americans Face Much Higher Rates of Early Death, New Book: Take Control of Your Heart Disease Risk. I think one may find in a statistically significant number that those do NOT choose sad items. But is this a given? During this time when we are quarantined because of the pandemic, we are seeing less of friends, colleagues, and relatives. Like the wise ant who And everyone would be invited to safely participate in a generative and shared inquiry. Good GardeningA New Year: How Do You Prepare, When Do You Start Seeds? If this happens once or just occasionally, the consequence is that your conversation will be brief. When a couple is caught up in endless bickering, one of the stock responses of a therapist is to ask, would you rather be right, or be happy?. With more than 1,500 politicians - mostly men - helping ban abortions since Roe fell, Catholic and pro-choice organizations are increasingly trying to carve out space for themselves in the . even at the cost of driving yourself to distraction. In first-world cultures, the drive to be right advances one in the competitive race. For more information, please see our Community Guidelines. They may or may not be relevant for your particular situation; and they should not be relied upon as a substitute for individual professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Try to keep a. Slartibartfast: Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I think that the chances The solutions are few. Like the sky, this is all shadows and light. The fear of uncertainty results in anxiety. This in turn leads to guilt. This is my safeguard against having to move from a good to a low place again when threatened. The distinction between strategies and goals is crucial. Before we begin to look at that, let's just reflect on how it impacts our lives. Might be obvious to exercise choosing happy regulating emotion but still i feel i need a how to. But they did not choose to decrease happiness. A way of knowing you cant be let down by anything else because youve prepared yourself for it. Once theyre all there together they exchange ideas and theyre able to see Well, this worked well in this country, so I can take and adopt it, and it should work in my countrys context, Datta said. Deep down, I cant help but wonder whether people generally would rather be right than be happy. In other words, sadness is more familiar to depressed people, so they are motivated to experience sadness as a way of reaffirming who they are. its just how I relate to things sad pictures,sad music, it is how I relate to things how I feel and how the song is represented to me (the actual meaning of the song) which I try to figure out so I can actually understand the person behind the voices feelings and what theyve been through, again its how I relate and sadness just comes to me I dont choose it and triggers that make it worse, it just happens. That is, depressed people may be effective enough in regulating their emotions, but they may be choosing to regulate in a direction that reinforces their negative mood. Would You Rather Be Happy and Wrong or Unhappy and Right? When a transgender person recently went on a shooting spree in Tennessee, the story was pushed in Uganda as an example of LGBTQ+ violence, just as it was in the US, Kaoma said. One of the reasons that I choose to be low is as a sort of self preservation response. Can you tolerate it for the sake of keeping the peace during this difficult time? Choosing Sadness: The Irony of Depression - Association for However, during this weekend while teaching a workshop, with Dicken Bettinger and Barb Patterson, a different version occurred to me. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. ( who is normally pretty depressing) was listening to angry and sad music at 6:15 AM. Lively is not acting alone: the US Christian right spent at least $280m abroad between 2008 and 2019, an investigation by the British news site openDemocracy found. What are the most annoying things each of you does? Recent highlights from APS journals articles on the link between self-esteem and eating disorders, how to be liked in first encounters, the effects of stress on rigid learning, and much more. Would You Rather Be Right or Be Happy? I feel I'm more "rather right than happy" but I think it's more "rather live in reality than pretend my fantasy is reality". Specifically, weve been assuming that depression is linked to deficits in regulation strategies, when in fact the problem may have to do with regulation goals. We may be able to develop it with our friends or spouses. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Remind yourself that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and say it like you mean it. In Spanish the word is Triste to sound like Christ. It is no longer trying to be against things, but in favor of things, he added: instead of being against LGBTQ+ rights, it is pro-family. I'd Rather Be Whole Than Good - Medium Few possibilities: the evil I know is better than the evil I do not know. All rights reserved. The higher you climb the farther you will fall, the worse it hurts. Forty percent of . Im happy for you.. The question is: Will these small blips turn into skirmishes or full-fledged battles? The Gnostic Atheist: What Does Gnostic Atheism Mean? In its legal brief to the EU human rights court defending some nations forced sterilization programs for transgender people, the ADF wrote that protecting those laws is a powerful way of ensuring that human rights are properly protected whilst at the same time mitigating the risk of human rights imperialism. Tips for Preventing and Containing Fights: In conclusion, the coronavirus pandemic is forcing us to keep close quarters with our partners and/or children. This raises the possibility that depressed people are actually more motivated to experience unpleasant emotions like sadness, as strange as this sounds. Theres 60 more years of litigation on social issues than what we have in Europe., Hungary banned the sharing of LGBTQ+ content to people under 18, and passed a law allowing anonymous reporting of same-sex couples raising children. When you are focusing more on being right than on having a shared dialogue, you foster competitiveness at the cost of feeling close. Theres nothing wrong with enjoying a good verbal joust, but when this kind of communication defines your relationship, you wont be able to rely on each other for caring, support and validation all of which are key in feeling emotionally close. from Ryokan College in Los Angeles and his Masters in Counseling Psychology from La Jolla University. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. In Europe, the religious rights latest messaging has its roots in the 1990s, when social advances that expanded rights for LGBTQ+ people and access to abortion drew the ire of the Vatican and other European conservative groups. Featured in the New York Times Sunday Styles section as "a new role model," motivational speaker, life coach, and author Gabrielle Bernstein is making her mark. Cable news shows stage the predictable impasse, particularly in the political arena, fervently pitching the argument around right and wrong. The response is supposed to be, and usually is, 'I'd rather be happy, obviously'. "I'd far rather be happy than right any day." - Douglas Adams, The You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. When in the grip of depression of course generally you are in such a bad place sad or not fantastic stuff vibes with you more and or is more comforting. Thusly a way to avoid being anxious or fearful. The religious right also now positions itself as a defender of human rights, but thats partly a trick, Paterrnotte said. Worse, the entire war effort and your countrys security might be placed in danger. Cannot annotate a non-flat selection. As a person diagnosed with acute depression,I would like to pitch in here as to the reason of the aforementioned choice. Many people are struggling with each other at the same time they are struggling with the stress of the coronavirus. Only one on one interaction with a therapist can get to the root of the problem. "Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. My late husband was always right and never conceded regardless of any logic or proof I presented. It may increase intimacy and renew our appreciation of one another, but it may also reignite old habits that are frustrating, annoying, and hurtful to our loved ones. Unless the world becomes aware of this, Africa will never be the same again.. In one case you want to convince others that you are right so you can make the world a better place; in the other, you want to convince others you are right so that you can feel superior to them. Could this possibly mean that we are not raising children well enough by not giving them the emotional regularity skills they need to be happy? I dont understand it but it happens and i think Im perfectly normal. He struggled, yet ironically, he often acted in ways that maintainedrather than alleviatedhis misery. Get the help you need from a counsellor near youa FREE service from Psychology Today.
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